"Life is really hard for me right now, but as soon as things get cleared up, I'm going to get back at it!"
If I only had a dollar for every time I've heard that gut-wrenching phrase. As somebody who has been knocked down a few times, I want to make an attempt to help you: get back up. For some stupid reason, the current norm has brainwashed us to think that if we cry loud enough, somebody will come running. Perhaps that if we build up enough excuses, not attempting the task at hand will be justified. Who are you seeking this justification from? It sure as hell isn't yourself. Why does giving yourself excuses make you feel better about not doing something? Where in the honest shit did personal accountability run off to?
After about 5 years of getting beat into the ground, repeatedly attempting to crawl back up the slippery slope, crying, pouting, kicking and screaming, I'm here to tell you that the light at the end of the tunnel isn't magically discovered, It's created. This DOES NOT mean that depressed people control their own happiness. It DOES NOT mean that if you have an eating disorder - you simply have to 'get over it', and it certainly DOES NOT mean that bad things don't happen to really good people. It does, however, mean that you will never get back up if you don't want to. Does it really all boil down to attitude? Maybe.
Attitude has definitely taken a cliche turn for the worst. Having a bad attitude has suddenly become sexy, common, and attractive. Why seek attention for accomplishments, when you can get loads of it for having a bad life? Somewhere between Good Charlotte and My Chemical Romance, we lost it (both great bands by the way). Certain aspects of your mental approach to your current situation can really help you get out of a slump. Here's what has worked for me:
This is where my approach might differ from some 'hardcore' life coaches. Unfortunately the world is actually a real place, and not everyone can walk around shitting glitter all over the walls. Yes, you need to accept the fact that some terrible, nasty, no good, stuff has happened to you. I challenge you to face what happened head on. Think about it. Let it eat you up for a while. Assess and analyze the situation. Cry, pout, and maybe dig into that tub of ice cream. Let your emotions do what they want. I'm a firm believer that you should never conceal anything - especially from yourself. If you did something that caused this, accept it. Take accountability for your damn actions.
When I'm finding more excuses than reasons, I tend to think of anybody who might have it a little worse than I do. Although somewhat elementary, this alone helped me push through many tough times. We all know somebody close, that has gone through something rough. I looked to my brother with cancer, parents with a divorce, and friends with lost parents. Although there's no denying that your world is crumbling down, and your problems will never relate: try and put your situation into some kind of perspective.
What are you thankful for? This isn't some, "There is so much to live for, Billy!" one liner crapshoot. I hate when people tell me to think about the good in the situation... What good? My awesome dog died and I got fired from my job in the same day you asshole. What I try to accomplish with this, is to let the dust settle. After I've accepted what's happened, and who might have it worse, I like to think of a couple things I enjoy, possess, or hold close. It doesn't have to be much. Sometimes it can even be materialistic. Hell, I love things, and things make me happy. Judge me. A subtle reminder that although life sucks, at least it sucks with SOMETHING you enjoy, love, like, or even don't hate (for all you difficult people).
Well, its been four days Nancy, you need to see some sunlight. Make it a point to get outside every day. Even if you want to cry all day - try and get outside for a short walk between tears. I'm not going to site some source because lets be honest, I'm far too lazy and it might not be 100% proven, HOWEVER - To quote a particularly successful law student: Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands. They just don't! You need to keep moving.
Last but not least, if you have a heartbeat, you have purpose. Finding your purpose won't happen with your head up your ass. At some point you are going to have to get back up. Maybe your all-time low will help you discover something you never knew about yourself. It did for me! You need to find the original reasons for doing the things you're now neglecting. What was your original purpose for going to that art class every weekend? What are your excuses for not going now? Nine times out of ten, you're going to find that the original reason overpowers any excuse. Dont lose sight of those reasons!
Due to life changing so quickly, I'm certain that there will be very few moments in life that will be comfortable, stress free, and ideal. The time is now! Let's do better in 2015 to put our strongest foot forward. There will be things that take you down, put you out, and distract you. Dig deep and hold on to those reasons to keep pushing forward. Life is literally a countdown to death. With limited time on this big ass floating circle (excuse me, sphere) of death, we need to do our best to make the most of the opportunities presented, relationships built, and events yet to come. Get knocked down, get back up, learn a little, maybe do an air hump or two, and get back on the horse.